living life as a statue
by companyundercovers
Summary: Fiona didn't realize how much she wanted Mike until he has her backed up against the wall with his hands on either side of her face. ( A scene between Fi and her boss, Mike Pratt, b/c their chemistry is keeping me up at night.)


Fiona didn't realize how much she wanted Mike until he has her backed up against the wall with his hands on either side of her face.

And looking into his blue almost grey eyes, she wonders how the hell she didn't see it before.

He moves a strand of her hair out of her face and gently slides it behind her ear, like she'll break if he lingers on her face for a second longer.

Fiona is a statue. Right now, in this moment, she embodies a statue, like the one's she saw in those free museums that provided her shelter when it rained too hard and she didn't want the kids to get sick. She'd bundle up Lip and Ian and push them into the museum and ignore the security guard that side eyed her entrance because she didn't have anywhere else to go and nothing was going to stop her from protecting her kids. _(It's funny because becoming their Guardian didn't really change anything, they were always her kids.)_

She wonders if those statues, white and crisp and undeniably expensive, were like her once, maybe before they were frozen marble, they were animated.

Maybe this is the beginning of her permanent status as a frozen fixture in the grotesque museum that is her life because the allure of being still is a little too strong.

Because all she does is move – move to get the kids ready in the morning, move to work job after horrible job, and move to constantly pick up the pieces of her and Jimmy's fractured relationship.

And don't get her wrong, she understands the necessity of it all, understands that the kids have to go to school, that she needs to pay the bills, and that what love isn't fractured, what love doesn't involve movement and work and tears.

But Fiona Gallagher is tired. She's been tired for the better part of the last two decades and for once in her god damn life she is not so worried about being still.

There's this beauty in no one needing anything from her.

And in this sudden stillness, clarity surrounds Fiona because with no one needing her all she is left with is her own need.

That itchy, buzzing warmth that she keeps buried deep inside her. That she sensed when she felt Mike's eyes follow her every movement. Or when she felt his sun kissed and strong arms wrap around her in the midst of their softball victory.

God, it's been so long she's felt like this that when it was staring her right in the face she didn't even recognize it, didn't even know what to call it. Chalked up to the caffeine rush or the excitement of feeling finally at home at a job selling cups!

Fiona Gallagher thinks the most pathetic part of this story is that for her to finally realize that she wants Mike, really, truly, desperately wants him, is when she isn't herself, when's she a statue.

The cards are already stacked up against them. He's her boss. She has five kids and this twisted magnetic connection to a broken boy who's name was once Steve.

And the real kicker is that she can only really focus on herself, on her emotions when she resembles ancient marble figures.

Mike grins a self-deprecating smile and leans closer and whispers "Just once, Fi. I have to know just once" against her lips.

And it's like he's breathing life into a statue because Fiona immediately responds, wrapping her arms around his neck, taking his bottom lip in between her teeth, sighing into his mouth.

He grabs her firmly by her waist and slides his arms along the length of her body and presses her further into the wall. Fiona welcomes the pressure of his body and thinks nothing as ever felt as good as this and she needs more friction and can he just never let her go.

Mike pulls away slowly and steals a chaste kiss against her lips before pressing his forehead against hers. And Fiona has never been about stolen moments or taking it slow but the sweetness of his lips makes her consider that she's been doing it wrong her whole life.

He smiles this bright, almost incandescent smile and it makes Fiona want to go back and skip the martyr classes that were ingrained into her head because somewhere along the way she never learned how to live for herself, only for other people.

She tries to replicate his smile, she gnashes her teeth together and spreads her lips. Mike laughs and kisses her twisted mouth, erasing it's comical arrangement. "This doesn't have to mean anything. We could forget this because I know that you're busy, that you have a life to live that came before I did." His voice is strong and he gets an A+ for effort. But she's lied so many times that she can hear its familiar tone from a mile away and it sort of breaks her heart that she's already turning him into a liar.

But she doesn't want to turn into a statue, white, illustrious, and frozen. She doesn't need people staring at her, remarking on her timeless beauty but never really sympathizing for all that she will lose because statues don't make connections and enjoy life.

So Fiona Gallagher will continue to be Fiona Gallagher.

She'll get the kids ready, she'll pay the bills, and she'll always feel an undeniable longing for a boy affectionately named Jimmy/Steve.

But that doesn't mean that she can't finally give in to what she wants, that doesn't mean that she can't change what she learned from all those martyr lessons.

Fiona Gallagher gets shit done and learned how to juggle from the best of them. So she shakes her head at Mike's suggestion and kisses him long and hard. She wants him to understand that she's willing to make him a part of that life. She's willing to endure the numerous cards stacked up against them because _she wants this, she wants this more than anything she has ever wanted before._

Fiona smiles against his lips, a real smile, and corrects her previous statement.

She thinks that the fact that she is finally is learning to listen to her heart is the most awesome part of this story.


End file.
